Darling, If You Love Me, Won't You Please Smile?
by Entranced.By.Breathing
Summary: Mid New Moon The Cullens, minus Edward, go back to Forks for Bella. What they find is Bella trapped in a catatonic state. Can they help her become Bella again? How will she react when Edward comes back? And when tragedy strikes, will family prevail? EXB
1. My Son, My Daughter

ESMEPOV

ESMEPOV

"I love you too, Emmet dear. Mhmm… okay. Well, give Rosalie my love. Of course I'll tell them…. alright then….. Enjoy Europe some more, we'll see you soon. Bye."

I didn't hang up until I heard the click on the other end. I met Carlisle's eyes from across the desk, and I could tell he could see the pain in them. I was still clutching the receiver when he reached over the desk and gently pried it out of my hands.

"How are the kids?" It was a question with multiple meanings, and multiple answers. What could I say? Fine, they're enjoying Europe. Sad, even Rosalie is missing Bella. Still angry, that we had to leave Forks. Awful- they're not coming home because they still can't stand Edwards pain. Though each was equally truthful, I put my head in my hands, sighed, and settled for the one that wasn't already common knowledge

"Fine, they're enjoying Europe." He raised his eyebrows, expecting more. He could tell I was still upset by what Emmett had said. I looked up at him from where my fingers still clasped my forehead and tried to smile. It must have turned out in a grimace, because none of us had truly smiled in a long time. I knew what he was waiting for.

"How much longer?" He muttered, knowing by now that they hadn't called to say they were at the airport.

"At least another month." We were referring to the 'extended' trip that Rose and Emmett had decided to take. What was supposed to be a month long 'honeymoon' had turned into a three month stay. They were still avoiding coming home. It broke my heart that we couldn't be together but it hurt too much for all of us when we sat down and tried to talk with what was left of Edward. He wasn't… for lack of a better term, _human_ anymore. His pain ripped across him in constant waves, and he hadn't been able to have contact with Jasper in months. It was even worse because of the hole we all felt without Bella too.

My Edward was anywhere but here. He blamed himself for Jaspers attack on Bella, and though it wasn't is fault, exiled out family from her. The loving, forgiving, girl that she was, I had no idea what he must have said to make her let him go. All I knew is that his decision now found Carlisle and I mourning in his office in Denali, Alice and Jasper reading in silence-Alice hasn't shopped since we left; we hadn't thought it was possible, but apparently it is – and Rosalie and Emmett hiding away in Europe. Edward was God knows where, 'tracking' Victoria. He checked in occasionally, but the calls were growing shorter, with longer distances in-between.

Carlisle stood from behind his desk and walked around it until he was standing in front of me. His eyes mirrored my pain, our pain, at having our family stripped away from us. Pulling me out of my chair and wrapping his arms around me, he kissed my hair and held me close. I buried my face in his chest, putting my arms around his torso and holding him tight.

"Carlisle… I don't know how much longer I can stand this." I mumbled into his shirt, knowing he would hear me. He put his cheek against the top of my head. Both of us were distraught, pensive, and worryingly quiet. Finally, he broke the silence.

"I'm not sure if we can afford to wait any longer for him to com to his senses. This is no longer just between the two of them, it never was. She's part of our family and there's nothing he can do to stop that."

I looked up into his beautiful topaz eyes and pondered. "What can we do? I don't want to go against his wishes, but there really is no choice anymore." He pulled back slightly so we could look at each other better. We were still in one another's' arms, and that comfort gave me strength to say what I needed to. "We have to go back, don't we?"

Gravely, he nodded. I pulled him close again. Edward and Bella. My son and my daughter. I could already feel my heart fighting against the iron grip it had been held in since we left Forks. We were going back. We were going back! I shot up out of Carlisle's arms, smiling like I hadn't smiled in years… well months, technically. But it felt like decades. His smile matched mine in all entireties and he grabbed my hands and grinned. I wasn't sure if she'd take him back, or if he would come back, but if we could at least have one of them home… the other was sure to follow, it was inevitable.

Hope coursed through my veins, anticipation was making me giddy. Their love was so strong that if we could get sense into one of them, we could have them both back. Suddenly something hit me- I laughed when I realized it was Alice.

She had thrown herself at me, obviously seeing our decision in a vision. Jasper was leaning on the doorframe, smiling, for the first time since Bella's birthday. He could obviously feel our elation, not to mention the happiness that flowed out of Alice though her smile.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" Alice cried, now flinging herself at Carlisle. "We're going to Forks! Jasper, we're going back to Forks!" She ran and pounced on him, hugging him for all she was worth. "I get my best friend back! We get Bella back! We can go shopping!" At this she let out a little shriek and squeezed Jasper tighter, the poor boy. But now Jasper too was beaming, his power being amplified by contact (which Alice was certainly providing).

Carlisle was grinning. In a matter of seconds, we had gotten our beautiful, exuberant, shopaholic daughter back. Always pragmatic however, he had to ask. "Alice, have you _seen_ Bella accepting us back? I thought Edward had forbidden you from trying to see her."

Alice's face fell a little, but not for long. "Well, just because I haven't seen it, doesn't mean it couldn't happen… and it will happen! It has to! Bella loves us as much as we love her, and we're going to be a family again. And when we are, Edward will come back, and they'll be happy. And she and Edward will just _have_ to work out their issues, and then he'll change her, and then they'll get married and he'll be happy. Esme, he'll smile again! And we'll move to a town with a big mall so Bella and I can make up for lost time. Me and Bella will go shopping every day, and we'll buy clothes and furniture and food, even though we wont eat it, and-"

He shot me a knowing glance before interrupting her rant. "Alice, that's all well and good, but have you seen anything of Bella?"

She pouted, disgruntled that her shopping plans were being put on the back burner. "No, I haven't seen anything. Edward said not to look, and after awhile the visions of her stopped coming."

"Well, make the arrangements Alice. Once we're all packed I'll need you to look for Bella. The sooner we get to Forks, the better."

Another shriek of joy escaped my petite 4'11" tall daughter, as she dragged all 6'2" of her husband out of the office. He just shrugged and smiled, eager to get back to Forks like we were. I knew Jasper still blamed himself for our leaving. If Edward hadn't read is thoughts and pulled Bella out of the way, she would have died at his hands. I don't think Bella could have ever blamed him; no one blames him but himself. Living with our masochistic Edwards emotions for so long was bound to rub off I suppose.

"Come on Esme, let's go pack." I could see the excitement in his eyes, while his tone was calm. Using our vampire speed, we were downstairs with our bags on the couch waiting for Alice and Jasper within minutes. Carlisle picked up the phone to call Emmett and Rosalie; someone would need to close down the house if the move to Forks was permanent. Also, I was sure that they would want a chance to gather their things before joining us in Washington. I would be able to hear their conversation from my perch on the arm chair. It was cruel of me, but I almost hoped Emmett would pick up instead of Rose. Her attitude towards Bella had always been nothing short of ridiculous.

"Hello?" The voice was sweet, with a hard edge. Rosalie. Carlisle looked to me and I shrugged, knowing it was best to get it over with and accept her reaction.

"Hello Rose. We don't have much time to explain, but Alice, Jasper, Esme and I are going back to Forks. We're going back for Bella." I could hear a loud whoop in the background and stifled a giggle at Emmett's reaction. He had always considered Bella his silly little sister and loved her fiercely. He had missed her just as much as Alice.

Rosalie, apparently, was not so easily swayed. Her tone was soft but icy. "WHY are we going back for that… _human_?" I was shocked at how blind the girl could be. Carlisle sighed, and I motioned for him to hand the phone to me. He cocked an eyebrow but acquiesced. Holding the phone to my ear I used a tone I knew she wouldn't dare argue with. I was her mother in almost every sense of the word, and she knew it. "Rosalie Lillian Hale Cullen…" She had to know she was in trouble now if I was using her full name. "Bella is as much a part of this family as you are. She may be human, but she is the reason for your brothers' existence, and she makes us all happy. I don't know what you have against her dear, but all I ask is that you are civil. We are going back to Forks and I need you and Emmett to close down the house after you return and have your stuff moved out." The phone was silent as I finished my rant, but I heard a small "humph" on the other end.

"Fine, we'll be back in a week mom." She murmured, humbled, but I was even more astonished that they were cutting their trip. Again, Emmett sounded ecstatic. Maybe she did harbor some feeling for Bella… or at least for Edward. That reminded me.

"Rose, I need you both to promise not to tell Edward yet." She let out a snort.

"Yea, because he calls all the time. Whatever, we promise." I didn't appreciate the sarcasm, but she had promised and that was all that mattered.

"Thank you Rosalie. You will both need to meet us at the house in Forks when you are done, Alice can set up your arrangements. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Of course Mom." And with that, our exchange was over. I handed the little silver cell phone back to Carlisle only to see him looking at me appraisingly. It was bewildering.

"What?"

"You… Rose… Wow." Was all he was able to say. He was always amazed at my ability to put Rosalie in her place when she got a little too… tenacious. Now was not the time for this however.

"It's a gift." I said simply and smirked. Turning towards the stairs, I called in a normal voice "Alice, Jasper, in the living room please."

In seconds they were assembled in front of us, suitcases in tow. They were both still glowing. Carlisle motioned for them to sit down.

"Alice, I need you to try to see Bella. That way we can get a grasp of where she might be, and in what… condition." Alice looked slightly confused by his choice of words but nevertheless focused her eyes on a spot on the wall. As they glazed over into a vision I saw Jaspers face clench and tense. He fell to his knees next to Alice and she sunk into him as she came out of the vision. Carlisle looked to me, alarmed, by the dry sobs coming from both our children on the floor. Whatever Alice had seen…it wasn't good.


	2. I Want Them Back

"Alice, I need you to try to see Bella

**Um wow… The response I got to this was incredible. Seriously, I consider this my first serious FanFic, so it was elating. I love you, reviewers! Apparently you all really liked it, and were curious as to what Alice saw… so here goes!**

**Ps. my midterms start this week, so I'm sorry for the delay, especially with the cliffy. I'll be better I promise. Please R&R, it's encouraging!**

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"_Alice, I need you to try to see Bella. That way we can get a grasp of where she might be, and in what… condition." Alice looked slightly confused by his choice of words but nevertheless focused her eyes on a spot on the wall. As they glazed over into a vision I saw Jaspers face clench and tense. He fell to his knees next to Alice and she sunk into him as she came out of the vision. Carlisle looked to me, alarmed, by the dry sobs coming from both our children on the floor. Whatever Alice had seen…it wasn't good._

JPOV

I let out a moan and cradled Alice to my chest. I don't know what Alice saw but it _hurt. _It hurt _a lot. _I cradled her to my chest as we dry sobbed on the floor of the living room. As the pain the vision brought subsided, my sobs ebbed away. I looked up from where my face was buried in Alice's short black hair. Our parents' faces were full of shock and confusion, not knowing why we were mourning.** I** didn't even know why we were mourning. But I knew we were, because that was the emotion coming off of Alice in waves, along with guilt, confusion, and hopelessness. She was so sad. Ignoring the emotions that were bombarding me, I closed my eyes and forced an immense wave of calm through the room. It was strong, and sedative like in nature, but Alice just snarled at me.

"Stop it Jasper!" Her top lip pulled back in a grimace just enough for me to know to back off. I was stunned; she never spoke to me like that. Her sadness was fading into hate, intrinsic and extrinsic. Alice was never one for angry feelings which was unnerving me even more than my lack of understanding. What had she seen?

I held her, as she mumbled. "It's entirely my fault… I didn't look sooner…Look what we've done…" Over and over, in different combinations, she continued murmuring. Helplessly, I looked to Carlisle and Esme for support.

ESMEPOV

I stumbled a bit as Jaspers induced calm hit me. Carlisle pulled me in front of him, and wrapped his arms around my stomach from behind. We watched our daughter snarl at Jasper with a shared feeling of dread. Alice never got mad at Jasper. He looked stunned, eyes pleading for us to help. She was whispering under her breath, repeatedly blaming herself and us in a hushed angry tone. Jasper kept trying to soothe her and just as I was about to speak she cried out desperately "This isn't supposed to happen, damn it!" Before I could stop myself, I was reflexively reprimanding her.

"Alice, language!" I realized my mistake when she looked up at me with incomprehensibly sad eyes. The anger was gone, but her little face was twisted in agony. She must have seen Bella hurt… or worse. Immediately regretting my actions, and lowering my voice to a whisper, I urged her on. "Alice, honey, what did you see?"

Jasper pulled the two of them up onto the couch and Alice stopped fighting the calm he was sending out. As she relaxed, her sobs broke into sniffles.

"Bella… she's in the hospital, Seattle. Catatonic. She's dying Esme, she's going to die."

No... No… In Carlisle's embrace I continued to shake my head, refusing to accept her vision. I could feel Carlisle shaking as he pressed my body closer to his for comfort and let out a soft moan. How could he so willingly accept this? No. No. No. There had to be another way. Alice saw the future… meaning…

"When?" I snapped, breaking the god awful silence that had consumed the room.

"What?" Alice looked confused as I broke her out of her reverie. She squirmed in Jaspers' embrace to gauge my expression. I wasn't sure what I looked like, but whatever my face held seemed to do the trick, and she sat upright.

"I said 'when' Alice. How much time do we have?" At this, she looked a little shocked. Apparently she hadn't thought of that. Something was going on inside of me, something that not even my psychic daughter could predict. This was instinct, pure and simple. A mother's instinct. Bella had been my daughter since the first time I lay eyes on her, and this proved it.

Still looking thunderstruck, Alice closed her eyes and replayed the vision in her mind. Jasper was working hard to keep her calm, that much I could tell by the way his grip tightened on her shoulders. There was no way he wanted to experience that pain again. Her little body started shaking. I tensed in response. Her eyes snapped open, but unlike last time, they were filled with determination. They silently communicated to me that hope was not lost, even before she began to speak.

CPOV

Alice's eyes snapped open, with a new found light. Esme had grown stiff in my arms during the brief moments Alice had been in her vision; as if she was steeling herself for a truth she might not want to hear. Bella wasn't dead yet, and the look in Alice's eyes said we had a chance. Esme softened in my arms, reading Alice's expression. I kissed the back of her neck and rubbed my hands up her arms to soothe her as Alice recounted her vision of Bella.

"We have time… We have time! The alarm clock on the nightstand was dated for two weeks from now, near midnight."

Letting out a sigh of relief, I squeezed my wife closer to me. Realizing that we were still standing, I pulled her over to the love seat across from the couch Alice and Jasper were currently curled up on. Taking her hand as she sat beside me, I rubbed circles on her palm. The doctor in me couldn't help but be curious; still, I was almost afraid to ask.

"Alice, this is going to be hard… I need you to tell me about her condition." I was a little disgusted that condition was the best word I could think of. My daughter was catatonic, and dying, but 'condition' was the best word I could come up with. If heart break were a disease, I could diagnose it, but for now condition would have to do.

"She was paler than usual. I don't know how to describe her…she just lay there." I nodded, hoping for more explanation. "I guess the best way to put it is that she wasn't there anymore. She didn't move or talk and she's lost a lot of weight, so she must not be eating either. The worst part though… it had to be her eyes. They were so empty. It's like she took in everything that was happening around her, but didn't have enough left in her to care. Broken. That's how I'd describe her Carlisle; she was broken."

ESMEPOV

"That's how I'd describe her Carlisle; she was broken." My heart broke a little bit more. Jasper sent me a sympathetic smile, and I returned it, knowing that he was feeling our grief on top of his own. Each of us became lost in our own thoughts; it was an occurrence that happened more frequently every day. I was startled by the lilting ring of Alice's cell phone. Apparently Alice hadn't seen that coming, and she jumped a little before reaching into her purse for the little silver phone.

"Yes, it's Alice. Good. We'll pick them up there. Great, thank you!" We looked at her questioningly; none of us had the patience right now to listen to both sides of her conversation. "Travel agent," she said simply. We stared. Finally realizing that none of us present could read her mind, she elaborated. "The tickets are waiting for us at the airport; it's a straight flight to Seattle. We got lucky, I was able to get a jet that's ready to leave as soon as we arrive." She smiled to herself, pleased with her "purchase". That's when it dawned on me… Alice had shopped! It was insignificant compared to everything else, but it still warmed my heart to see her start acting like herself again.

"In that case, I suppose it's time to go."

Carlisle nodded in agreement, and we grabbed our bags from the couch. Alice and Jasper followed behind us as we walked to the silver Mercedes. Loading the trunk, we were all silent and lost in our thoughts. I took my place in the passenger seat as Carlisle gunned the engine (courtesy of Rose). Alice and Jasper curled up in the backseat and gazed into each others' eyes. The depth of their relationship- the ability to speak without words- always made me smile. The emotions Jasper felt, coupled with Alice's natural intuition gave their bond another level of strength.

Turning to face forward, I held Carlisle's hand softly. His brow was creased in worry; he was clearly contemplating how best to take care of Bella. As the doctor in the family, he felt just as responsible for Bella's safety as Edward did. It was a little comical, because it was hard to stay sane when the girl sprained something on a daily basis.  
By now, we were on the highway and I could see the airport. We turned off onto the exit, and pulled smoothly into an underground parking lot. It was just a precaution, so we didn't get caught in the sun, and it would also make it easier for Rose and Emmett to bring the Mercedes back to the house. I smiled at my beautiful husband, the father of my children, hoping that my look said it all. Gazing into his eyes, I think it did; he reflected everything I was feeling and it reassured me. Together we reciprocated pain, grief, hope, and anticipation, but first and foremost love.

CPOV

Breaking my gaze from Esme's, I exited the car and walked quickly to the back. I popped the trunk and Jasper helped me unload the suitcases. I frowned slightly; Alice had not done her usual amount of packing and that would result in a shopping trip. Hopefully, she would spare Jasper and I, but I wouldn't complain if she took us. Alice had gone far too long without a shopping trip and I was worried for Bella's wardrobe when we arrived in Forks. Chuckling to myself, I started walking towards the airport itself. Out of my peripheral vision I caught Alice staring out in a daze, having a vision. She swore softly under her breath and looked at me apologetically. I had no idea why she looked so sorry, and had no time to ponder because my cell phone rang. Taking it out of my pocket and reading the caller id, I did the only logical thing…

"Fuck." I whispered.

And I answered the phone.


	3. It Won't Be Soon Before Long

**Hello All! I will NOT take that long to write a chapter again, don't worry. My pathetic excuses are that I had a toaster over accident, and am lacking a beta. This chapter is naught but a filler, but will hopefully tide you over until the next. Happy reading! And please review, and vote- how should Charlie react? May the best reviewer win! (Not to say that I'm picking favorites… oh well, you know what I mean.)**

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_-Flashback-_

_Out of my peripheral vision I caught Alice staring out in a daze, having a vision. She swore softly under her breath and looked at me apologetically. I had no idea why she looked so sorry, and had no time to ponder because my cell phone rang. Taking it out of my pocket and reading the caller id, I did the only logical thing…_

"_Fuck." I whispered._

_And I answered the phone._

_-End Flashback-_

CPOV

"Edward…"

He was calling from the cell phone we had made him promise to take before he left. Jasper and Esme looked alarmed, but Alice whispered to them swiftly, effectively calming them down. I wouldn't let anything slip.

"Carlisle. I'm moving further south." His voice on the other end was harsh and hoarse from misuse. He would never know how much it broke my heart to hear him like this. Edward was still moving farther and farther away, but I wasn't too worried because the earth is round-eventually he will have to some full circle. Also, this would give us more time before he caught our ruse.

I tried to keep my voice calm and even. He wouldn't be able to hear my thoughts through the phone but he was incredibly perceptive.

"Where are you headed?"

"She gave me the slip in Texas. I believe she went through Mexico."

"How are you?" Would he give me the truth?

"I'm fine, but the newborn armies are strong down here. They did not take kindly to a vegetarian in their territory." Of course he gave me a half truth. But why would he travel through another covens' territory?

"Why were you among a newborn army Edward?" I couldn't keep the scold out of my voice.

"Why avoid them? They could have had information on Victoria. There was no risk."

"No risk? Edward your life was at risk!"

"This is no life Dad." He was silent for a few moments, probably reliving the days when he had his soul mate by his side. Esme was mine, and I know I could never have left her. He was so much stronger than any of the rest of us, resisting her blood, but so stubborn. I gave him a minute to abruptly change the subject like usual so I wouldn't seem to notice his pain. I knew that hiding it made him feel better.

"Carlisle, has Alice seen anything pertaining to my search?"

Alice shook her head and started walking with Jasper and Esme to the parking garage elevator, bags in tow. She gestured wildly in a way that probably meant they would get the plane ready. I nodded.

"She has not."

"How is the family?"

"They are well. We all miss you Edward, very much. Alice and Esme are destitute."

I knew it was low to play the Esme card. Edward would do anything for the woman he considered his mother. I didn't want him to come home now, but softening him to the idea wouldn't hurt.

"I will come home eventually. You know I need to destroy Victoria first." He would forever be chasing after the one tie he had to Bella, trying to satiate his need to protect her. If only he wasn't a worthless tracker.

"We will wait as long as we have to son."

"It was nice speaking with you Carlisle. Take care."

"Be safe Edward."

I hung up the phone and entered the elevator, musing on the phone call. There had been no need to lie to him and for that I was thankful. Stepping off at the gate for private hangars, I was met by Jasper.

"The Pilot is ready to take off as we speak."

"Are the girls already aboard?"

He nodded and chuckled. "Alice was terrifying to say the least when the pilot tried to insist we leave at noon." I looked at my watch; it was currently half past ten. He led me out to the hangar. The doors were already open, and I could see the pilot through the windshield of the small black jet, calling for clearance. Once we were comfortably seated with Alice and Esme by our sides, the plane took off. I explained Edward's phone call, and Esme was devastated; he was moving farther away. Jasper tried to put a positive spin on the situation saying it would buy us more time before he burned us. That got a good chuckle out of everyone, but knowing Edward, he would be furious if he found out where we were going without a good explanation. Hopefully saving Bella's life would earn us forgiveness. They were just as glad as I was that he had not asked any prying questions. According to Alice, that wouldn't have gone well.

In the peaceful silence that followed, we all became lost in our own thoughts. I was unsure of how Bella was doing despite Alice's description. What if healing her was not within my power? If she didn't eat, we could hook up an IV. If she wouldn't move, a nurse could wheel her around. But if she was not ready to face the world in her mind, then she would die on the inside long before she died on the outside. Who was I kidding? I could save her body, but only Edward could save her soul.

-- (I almost ended it there… But then I remembered how long it had been since I had updated, and wrote some more!)--

APOV

The trip from the airport to our home in Forks was a blur. I could barely pay attention to my surroundings while I was trying to monitor Bella. We hadn't been in too much of a rush because I had not seen her future changing suddenly. We had two weeks to free her from her self imposed exile. Even with the dire circumstances I couldn't bring myself to be very sad. I was going to see my best friend! I had no human memories of friends, and the closest people to me were my own family and the Denali coven. Tanya, Irina, and Kate were always too caught up in Edward, Carmen and Esme preferred "relaxing" activities, and Rose was decidedly NOT a Barbie, no matter how much she looked like one. Bella had been my first and only best friend, the human doll I had always wanted, and the sister needed to complete my family. I focused into another vision of Bella, but they were all exactly the same. She hadn't moved at all. The only changes in the room were the red blinking lights of the alarm clock as it counted down the hours. I felt so helpless and frustrated! Carlisle was only pushing ninety in the BMW I had rented from the airport. Jasper wrapped an arm around my shoulder to calm me, and I found myself wondering if Bella would still want us. This wasn't something I could see in a vision yet, because she wasn't making any decisions. It was eerie.

I wasn't surprised at the lengths the family was going to, to help Bella; with the exception of Rose. Deep down, we all knew that Bella and Edwards' lives were tethered deeply, with a chain too strong to be severed. Carlisle was starting to give me a headache with the different ways he planned on taking care of Bella, each growing a bit more desperate than the last as he flew through them. His demeanor wasn't calmed like usual, something must have been bothering him. Perhaps it was the feeling that everything depended on him, as the doctor. I hadn't told Carlisle this, but he had already made a decision subconsciously. He would do anything to bring our family back together, from dragging Edward out of a hovel in South America, to stealing Bella and heading to Denali.

The scenery out the window had turned green and wet, so I knew that we had entered Forks. Our first stop would be to drop our things at the house; the next, to see Charlie. It would be unpleasant and we were going to have to be VERY persistent.

I brought myself out of my thoughts, realizing for the first time how very silent the whole trip had been. Now that there was not a mind reader in our midst, we tended to keep our thoughts to ourselves. Insecurities and grievances that had previously been aired out in the open were kept quiet. We had changed _so_ much. I begged with all my soul that Bella would forgive us, before we all truly crumbled, and fell apart. She and Edward already had.

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Alright guys, don't forget to review!


	4. Bigger Than You and Me

Good Lord, it's been a long time. Things have been hard, but hopefully I'm back for good.

Thank you everyone, for your patience and reviews.

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CPOV

"Carlisle, NO!"

I was seconds away from parking between a beaten up Rabbit and the cruiser. Where was that humble red beast of a truck? Instead, I pulled myself out of the turn, and swerved back onto the road. The urgency in Alice's voice startled me enough that a human would have crashed. Instead, the car swerved sharply but remained steadily on the road none the less.

"Seeing Charlie right now is… not in our best interest. He has company over."

"That's fine, but when can we speak with him Alice?" In the rear view mirror I could see her eyes glaze over as she searched the future.

She opened her eyes and hesitated. "I can't see him. It must be the wolves."

Ah, of course. The closeness of the Swan family to the La Push pack had been of minor concern when Edward had his first altercations with Bella; everything but his love came in second place to his lust for her blood. After they started seeing each other, we lived life from day to day, not realizing what the true implications of our actions would have. The wolves could not possibly be pleased with us- if anything Bella's state will give them false grounds to annul the treaty. They wouldn't possibly though…. Would they? I sighed, brought back to the present by a red light. I stopped at perhaps the only traffic precaution taken in the city of Forks and thought some more to myself. We passed Forks high school and were well on our way back towards the winding back roads of our property before I swung to the shoulder of the road with an idea.

"Perfect!"

I chuckled. "Thank you Alice. Will he be able to handle it?"

"Jasper can do anything. I just can't see it for sure until the decision is made."

I dialed the number required and held my unneeded breath. The ringing in my ears lasted for an ungodly amount of time, and I wondered if the phone would even be answered. He would know who was calling, just like I had known when Edward called. Caller id seemed to be the bane of my existence lately- the anticipation was killing me. Or it would be if I wasn't already dead.

"Swan Residence."

I exhaled, and hoped that this wouldn't go too badly. "Hello Chief Swan. This is Carlisle Cullen-"

"What do you want Doctor Cullen?" Charlie hadn't bothered to drop the formalities, meaning that he blamed more than just Edward for Bella's condition. Hopefully he would grant me this favor.

"I know that this may seem abrupt, but a few members of our family have chosen to move back to Forks. Big city life just wasn't quite what it was cut out to be. I've heard about Bella's… condition, and I was wondering if you would grant my family and I permission to visit her."

"What did you say?"

"My wife, daughter, and son would like to come and visit Bella. Would that be alright with you?"

"I mean no disrespect Dr. Cullen, but there is not a chance in hell that I want your boy around my daughter. Over my dead body- that's the only way that that punk will get near my daughter ever again."

I sighed into the phone, unsurprised by Charlie's assumption. "I meant my middle son- Jasper. Alice insists that he come along. She and Esme both have been dying to see Bella." Again, I played the Esme card. Everyone who met her had a soft spot for my beautiful wife. She was too kind to disappoint. "Please Charlie. Let us come and visit. Alice dearly misses her best friend, and only the four of us have returned to Forks" thus far, "so you have nothing to worry about."

There was a low grunt. I needed to be a little more convincing. "Also, I would like to come and see her charts. If there is anything I can do for her Charlie, I will." I felt a small amount of déjà-vu, when I remembered that I had promised that same thing to a mother nearly a century prior. I meant it then… to what extent do I mean it now? I was almost afraid of the answer. Hopefully my plea towards Bella's health care would convince him. As stubborn a man as Charlie was, Bella came first. He knew as well as I did that I was the best doctor that Forks, or Seattle even, had.

Another grunt came from Charlie, but an excited squeal sounded from the pixie in the backseat. We were in.

----.

BPOV

I was getting uncomfortable. My nose itched but my arms had been bound behind me in my straight jacket. Even if they hadn't been, I'm not entirely sure I would have moved. If I ignored the itch it would go away, like everyone and everything before it. Except for the hole that consumed me, constantly. Ever unchanging.

The nurse had propped me up against my headboard, covers tucked under my chin. If not for my haggard appearance I was sure to an outsider it would look like I was just in bed like a normal sick person. The straight jacket seemed a little over the top to me. I knew it was just a precaution for now however. I had really given them a scare when Renee had come to bring me back with her to Jacksonville. I couldn't bring myself to care.

My mother loved me I knew that, but she would never understand me. She was fickle, and liked to flit from hobby to hobby. As much as I loved my mother, I had always been the adult and made our big decisions. That was one of the very few things that Charlie and I had in common. We were steady, for life, kind of people. We made attachments and kept them. When something or someone got under our skin, they stuck. A handprint on my heart.

The elderly woman looked at me with pity. I was lucky that my nurse today was her and not one of the younger, happier, and much more naïve nurses. She seemed to understand that I wasn't getting better any time soon, and that no amount of medicine would change that. My father had sent me here hoping that they could do something to help me, when I couldn't bring myself to walk or eat or sleep. Catatonic is what had said. That suited me just fine.

Brushing my now shoulder length hair back from my face, she gave me a weak smile, and took my vitals. I was declining; I didn't need to see her smile drop to know that. My end would come soon enough and I couldn't be more pleased. Everyday my heart slowed down a little more. Got just a little bit weaker. It was broken and would stay that way. Never again would it skip a beat with excitement or move so quickly it seemed likely to burst from my chest. Its slow steady rhythm would be my constant companion until I was no more. I craved that silence. My heartbeat was a constant reminder of what I was and what he was. Why I wasn't good enough, why I would never be enough. Never enough.

It wasn't a medical illness. That was what bothered everyone the most. It was my inability to live, the lack of effort I put into it. I had never been suicidal, I wasn't that far gone. I wouldn't put Charlie through that. Seeing me wither away like this was probably worse for him though. I was putting my parents both in so much pain. I couldn't live for them though, even if that's what he wanted. I had been ready for my life to end at eighteen for awhile now. Only thing was, I thought it would be the end of my human life, not the end of my existence. I thought that I would have my forever. The hole in my chest throbbed violently, as I took in a shuddering breath, and the nurse seemed disturbed by my sudden change in demeanor. I couldn't help that small sob that came out through my numb emotionless façade.

Who needs forever alone anyways?

---


End file.
